Too Many Tears
I grew up believing that men shouldn’t cry; I was taught that crying was a sign of weakness. Until today, I have never really been comfortable with crying, especially in front of others, and yet, I have cried more in the last year than perhaps in my entire life. I’ve been unable to pinpoint the source of my tears, that is until this morning, when I realized that my tears are God’s way of telling me, “Something is terribly wrong with this world.”
Today I heard a young woman tell her story about her tears and where they led her. They led her to Africa. They led her to an organization that exists to bring clean drinking water to a continent that is being ravaged by the AIDS epidemic. This was her story, and it brought me to tears. Tonight, I went to a meeting to hear this young woman describe her journey in more detailed terms, and she also took questions from the group who attended. I decided to raise my hand and ask a question…
“I know that there are obvious challenges for those involved in the mission’s organization, and I’m sure that sometimes it is tempting to simply give up hope, and give up altogether, but I also wonder what it must feel like to be an African living in those conditions…have they given up hope, or is their resolve strong?”
I must say, her response seemed to lack the language that I was looking for, but I will say this: there is absolutely nothing that could have prepared me for what she said next, she said this:
“So many Christians tout the line that they want to go to places like Africa and ‘show them the love of Jesus,’ but I don’t think they realize that the people in Africa understand the love of Jesus, and they understand it in a way that hardly any Americans could possibly understand, and it’s because it is really all they have to sustain them.”
In that moment, my world came crashing down. It took everything within me not to completely break down in front of everyone in the room. I was stunned. I was paralyzed by her words. And I realized why…because what she said was completely true. I have absolutely no idea what it is like to wake up in the morning and come to the realization that all I really have to get me through this day is the love of Christ. I tend to wake up and think about what I’m going to have for breakfast.
Here’s what I realized tonight: we need just about as much, if not more from the people of Africa then they need from us. Despite the disease, the poverty, the violence, and the constant stench of death, Christ is on display in the lives of so many Africans all around the continent. God is transforming hearts, one village at a time. I can do nothing but marvel at the kind of community that these villages experience; I can only imagine what America would be like if we became more like Africa…I think I would like it a lot. I can’t help but think that perhaps Africa should be sending just as many missionaries to America as America is sending to Africa.
Tonight I realized that my complacency, my selfishness, my apathy, and my pride really affect my brothers and sisters both in the U.S.A. but also around the world. Tonight, I sat in the lobby of my comfortable dorm building as people sat around me making plans to go out to eat or to go watch a movie, and yet all I could think about were the faces of my brothers and sisters all around the world who don’t even have clean water to drink.
The tears are starting to fall again, and I think it’s because there is so much more to be done.
Back in 2001 I was part of our church mission team to travel to a small rural hospital in Karatina, Kenya to look at how our church could partner with Tumutumu Hospital. Not being a nurse or doctor, I had no clue what I would be doing or how I could help, but because God told me to go, I went. I never expected to be as blessed as I was from that trip. The poverty was overwhelming, at the same time I was blown away by the beauty & richness of the land (located in the Highlands west of Mt. Kenya). The hospital was truly primitive compared to American standards. Even though all that was overwhelming to me, what hit me like a ton of bricks was the sheer joy these people had in their lives in spite of the challenges life brought them.
What the young woman said about people in Africa understanding the love of Jesus and that it really is all they have to sustain them is so very true. I, too, depended on ( and still do) the love of Jesus to get me through some of the most horrible moments in my life. Regardless, I don’t think that I had nearly the joy in my heart that the people at Tumutumu hospital have. My trip there left a deep impression in my life and many times I have been moved to tears, especially in light of the current situation in Kenya.
I am thrilled to report that our church has a continuing partnership with Tumutumu hospital and with a deaf school near by, along with several outlying dispensaries and other programs. I, personally have not been able to return due to health problems, but our church continues to travel to Karatina. If more Christians would move from the position of comfort, from their own little exclusive world, from their focus of “saving” the world – to discovering that building relationships with people everywhere is really what it is all about this world would be a better place. God spoke to me during that trip to Kenya. It is all about building relationships, not just with people, but with Him. And it is through relationships that we can help each other even through the darkest of nights.
May God bless your tears & cause you to move forward in a way that is powerful to His kingdom. (And, by the way, I am familiar with Simpson as I took my son and daughter there several years ago when we were college hunting. Great school!)