Mercy for a Sinner
“To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable: “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’ But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’ I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”–Luke 18:9-14
This passage makes me cry every time I read it. I have officially renamed this parable the “Kleenex parable” because it makes me weep like nothing else. I weep because of how much I identify with the Pharisee. For a long time up until recently, I had been much more concerned with comparing my spiritual journey with those of everyone around me. I was quick to judge, and quick to condemn that which I saw as “ungodly.” Now I read Luke 18, and I weep because of my arrogance. I weep because of my blindness.
I’ve been hit from every angle by those Christians who keep telling me that they’ve got God figured out. They know how God votes and thus they think it’s their responsibility to vote and judge for God during their own lifetime. I can say all of this because I used to be one of those people. I spent a lot of my life speaking a lot of judgment that dripped with narcissism, arrogance, and a lack of compassion. I spent a lot of time ignoring Luke 18.
Tonight, I humbly declare that I’m just a tarnished tax collector in need of mercy. I don’t have the necessary audacity anymore to sit around and judge the godliness of others. The only thing I have the energy for is to simply surrender in love.
My prayer is that the body of Christ would look inside, beat on its heart, and ask for mercy. My prayer is that I might have the strength to be totally satisfied by God’s promised love, rather than feel as though I need the recognition of man. May we all come to realize that we were all sinking in the river of sin, but God’s net was and is big enough to save us all from drowning.
God have mercy on me, a sinner.
